Bear and a rabbit were taking a shit in the woods. And the bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "No." So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
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"Now, a brother's dick is too big, so it'll fuck up his balance... Every time you see a brother in a wheelchair, he ain't always crippled."
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"I been seeing newspapers every Sunday morning, white dudes be in there in their drawers, never having no bulge in they drawers. Smiling at you. If I ain't have no bulge, I wouldn't be smiling!"
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"Does anyone have a mother that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime. And fuck you up wherever she was aiming. So by the time I was like ten, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe."
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"I'm sadistic. I go to the supermarkets to watch mothers lose it and beat the shit out of their kids."
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"White people can't dance. I'm not being racist; it's true. Just like when white people say black people have big lips, it's not racist; it's true. Black people have big lips, white people can't dance. Some brothers will be in the club and white people are like, "What are those niggers doing in here?" They watchin' y'all dance. And they're like, "Look at these crazy muthafuckas." Y'all be stepping on people's feet and hitting one another."
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"AIDS is scary 'cos it kills motherfuckers, AIDS!That ain't like the good ol' dayswhen venereal disease was simple.In the good old days, you got gonorhea,you dick hurt, go get a shot, cleared right up."
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"The thing about kids is that they express emotion. They don't hold back. If they want to cry, they cry, and if they are in a good mood, they're in a good mood."
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